I don't know who to be anymore...

I hate this...I having to please people...to fit in...I have such a strong feeling that everyone hates/is annoyed with me... Who wouldn't hate me? I'm a fucking weird ass freak... Katie enjoys my company, but that's probably the only person. To everyone else I'm invisable, they'd prefer not to be around me, and when they have to be they just want me to shut up. I hate myself because I also try to come up withthese random things so that way there's at least SOME conversation, instead of it get awkward. I don't deserve to talk/know anyone. Even if I was to ask someone if they enjoy my company they'll just lie, and why wouldn't they? They're trying to keep me happy like "good" friends, either way I suck. I'll always suck. There's no hope for me to get along with anyone at all. Might as well kill me so I don't plague this society. Oh but wait a minute, I can't kill myself can I? One: my family and two: Katie. Katie's always a good reason, but I'll just wind up torturing myself every day when she's not around. I don't know what my problem is...I try and I try to be social or meet new people, but I always say one bad thing and then voilà, I'm a freak. I'm torn between giving up everything I have and continuing down the same path. In the end I'll just die, so it's all pointless.