Nothing Is Real

I. Hate. Everyone. Except for Bryan, but besides that I hate ALMOST every person for one reason or another. Friends, family, everyone. There's always one thing I just want to scream my head off at them for. But then again, I'm really just angry at myself for being such a loser, so that's who I'll take it out on. No one else is actually at fault, I just...can't stand people or life.

Please save me from myself

I see his face everywhere. I'm so afraid. Afraid to sleep. Afraid to dream. Afraid of the dark. Afraid to be alone.

Lights Out...better run

There he is, I see him everywhere, watching, grinning the evil grin. He was in a dream, a nightmare, but now his face is stuck in my mind. A lot of nightmares I remember with a fairly detailed description, but this man's face...the dream...it's tattooed into my brain. I can't forget about it. He's wherever it is dark; in my room, in the hallway, OUTSIDE. He just stands there, staring at me, convincing me that up against him I won't survive. No matter what I do, I see his face in the darkness. It makes me want to cry.

After all, it's only our lives anyway

If it wasn't for my family or Bryan, I don't know what I would've done by now. I'm not saying anything major WOULD happen, but it would've definitely been a bigger possibility. My life is just stuck in a loop now. Go to work, go home, continue the same thing the next day. I do hang out with Kevin or Bryan, but how long can I go on like that before feeling completely empty? What's the point if your life ends up on repeat? Not only that, but I still like her....a lot... Or maybe I'm just physically attracted? I'd love to get this out of the way so I don't have to feel so insignificant, which that won't change as long as nothing else does, which it won't. I have trouble remembering how I made friends or girlfriends in school, but I'm even more clueless as to how you do it outside of school. Guess I'll be stuck trying to figure out if I should attempt to date the same people again, or if I should pretend to be comfortable alone. I do know one thing, I'd love to share a bed with you.

The Continuation

Blueberry.



I'm Starting to wonder if I felt like that, or if I just wanted to. Did you feel like that?

Losing Hope

Every time I'm with you, I miss her more.

Why did she have to have such a big impact on my life?

I'll pretend it didn't hurt

I still read the notes/letter you gave me.

They help, or at least they used to... Why can't I forget?



"I never thought I'd smile so much."